Thank you tenants of apartment 1323. Thank you for not understanding the value of taking your shoes off when you are in the house. Thank you for understanding that what I really want to hear at 11:30 pm, 12:45 am, 1:30 am, and 3:51 am is your fat ass tromping around in combat boots. Thank you for realizing that I don't need sleep in order to do my job. In fact, it's actually frowned upon around here if I have my eyes open. When I get my dollar and hour raise, I will have you to thank for making me so sleep deprived that I get the nods at 10 am and 3 pm. Oh....I almost forgot! Thank you so much for inviting your friends over on work nights! There's nothing more pleasing to the ears than hearing a bunch of drunken douchebags slam doors, run up and down stairs, and scream obscenities! I hate to break it to you, tenant of apartment 1323, but they may actually be louder than you! Except for that one time you insisted o n dropping the dictionary, or whatever the hell it was, on the floor repeatedly. There's nothing like being startled awake with your heart beating like a chihuahua on amphetamines to really get your day going. Sleep, who needs it? You just carry on doing what you're doing, living the way your white trash parents taught you how to live.
Sincerely,
The Tenant of Apartment 1223
Monday, June 8, 2009
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